btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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