I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
