i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He? As in you personified your dick?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
