you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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