So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
