So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
