Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
