so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
