i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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