shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
