Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
