I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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