My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
