awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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