We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
