do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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