My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
