I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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