i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
