Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
