Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
