He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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