end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
