holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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