can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think i got beer on your cat.
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