i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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