So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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