Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
