the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
