just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
