I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
