Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
