just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
