these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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