i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she peed on how many people?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
