Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
