you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
