whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
