dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
