new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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