guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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