i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
