cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Randomize
