How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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