Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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