you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
