im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Watching her eat just hurts me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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