brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
