Sry I called you an 8
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
