took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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