I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
