There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im holly from the hills drunk
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
