her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I got inside last night via doggy door
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
